I'm not talking about the expression "Bless her heart!" because that saying has a hidden meaning. At least, it used to until someone betrayed our kind by explaining it's meaning to the whole world. Seriously, we should have revoked the imbecile's Southern Citizen card for taking away our secret ability to absolve ourselves and simultaneously negate the viciousness of all derogatory comments.
I'm talking about those southernisms that combine clarity of meaning, agrarian references and humor. They are the "sayin's" I heard my grandparents and parents use. I might have only heard them once, but I never forgot them and enjoy using them when nothing else "says it all". Coming out of the mouth of a southern city girl like me, these rural life references do seem out of context, but they never cease to surprise and amuse.
These are some of my favorites.
- "Just because kittens are born in an oven, don't make 'um biscuits."
- "Even a blind hog gets an ear of corn every now and then."
- "You can teach a pig to dance, but you'll only frustrate yourself and annoy the pig."
- That's like... "closing the barn door after all the cows are out."
- "He could eat corn on the cob through a chicken wire fence."
Come on my fellow southerners, what would you add?