Friday, October 28, 2011

But seriously...

A repost from my old blog, My Life in the Fish Bowl October 20, 2011

Sometimes, even when I take my med.’s, my filter slips...  Why just last week at Kidmin, in response to a rhetorical question “Have you ever wanted to quit?”  I replied, “Yep, every Monday!”. 
The embarrassing part is I didn’t realize I had said it out loud.  One colleague standing beside me quipped “Why do you always say what I’m thinking?” and we both shared a laugh. (I’m goofy that way.) 
Were we kidding or were we dead serious?  I don’t know about my colleague, but for me the answer depends on the Sunday before the Monday. 
Did we get through the morning and evening classes with a full staff? Rarely, so the questions should be, “Did we find enough substitute teachers?” 
Did the teachers engage the children in transformational lessons? Nothing makes my Monday like Sundays I see evidence children are growing closer to Jesus.
Is my email inbox full of questions, comments and suggestions from parents and teachers? It’s Mondays like that that make me LOVE my job! I thrive on feedback . Truthfully, internet silence is dangerous. 
Was I able to greet lots of teachers and parents or was I caught up in administrative busy work? I work hard not to get caught doing paperwork on Sundays, but reimbursement forms from the weekend can derail me from my face time. I hate when I let that happen.
Did I get to worship and hear our awesome Pastor’s message? When the answer’s no, I realize my Monday will be tainted with negative energy. In the past two months, I’ve worshiped twice. Once at Kidmin 2011 in Chicago. Usually, I answer YES, but this year’s it’s just not happening for my team, so it’s not happening for me either. Now, that’s a real Monday buzz killer! 
Club56 2011
The answer to the above questions, and more I DIDN’T mention determines my Monday employment outlook. Now there ARE Sundays where the morning is a downer, but the evening Club56 slaps me back to the reality that God MADE me for Children’s ministry.  Hanging out with a crowd of 5th and 6th graders and experiencing the incredible depth of faith they possess will erase the memories of a bad Sunday AM in a heart beat. Yep, I’m THAT easy... Deep down I’m a “God you had me at hello.” girl.
But WHOA is me on those Monday mornings I’m plagued with ministry troubles and overwhelmed emotionally, spiritually and physically.  Those are the mornings, I pick myself up by yelling, “I QUIT!” to my awesome savior. I save my screams for the drive into the office cuz it really scare the dog when I scream in the house.   
But seriously, the beautiful thing is those are the times I feel closest to Jesus.  He knows my pain. He lived an earthly life that made my Sunday drama traumas like a week in Cancun. By Cancun, I mean the resort part, not the scary part, but that’s another story.
Now I’m not saying I look forward to the “I quit!” Mondays. It just means that I have a life line who saves me from the pit of despair. And because of Jesus, I’m not afraid to share that, seriously, sometimes on Monday mornings I simply want to quit.  
... but I don’t.   
Let’s thank God for that!  
“Thank you God for those “I QUIT!” Mondays that keep me clinging to your son Jesus. It is in His hands that I will find peace, strength, direction and focus to continue doing what You specifically made me to do. Amen and amen!”

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